This was a powerful and intense read! You captured the emotional turmoil, the tension, and the moral dilemma really well. The pacing was great, keeping the reader engaged, and the characters felt real, especially Charlie’s unwavering dedication to his daughters and Edith’s legacy.
A couple of things you might want to consider:
- Gaby’s shift from loving stepmother to someone actively pushing for the trust fund felt a bit sudden. Maybe adding a few subtle red flags earlier in their relationship would make it feel more natural.
- The resolution is strong, but does Charlie ever reflect on his choice to marry Gaby in the first place? A moment of introspection could add depth to his character.
- The ending leaves their marriage in a tense limbo—was that intentional? Does Charlie ever consider separation, or is he hoping things will improve?
Overall, it’s a gripping and emotionally charged piece. Let me know if you want any tweaks!